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Lindsay Rae Brown
Lindsay Rae Brown

3.2K Followers

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Published in About Me Stories

·Pinned

About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown

Writing through the stress…usually in a unicorn onesie. — If you need to know one thing about me, it is this: I love my name. My name is boss. To be clear, my name isn’t actually “boss,” which would be weird. But it is boss as in the slang (that dates back to the 1880s!), meaning super hip and…

About Me

4 min read

About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown
About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown
About Me

4 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·1 day ago

What the Hell is a Crampon? Guesstimates and Speculations

Why does this word sound so familiar but I have no clue what the heck it is? — I’ve read the word in books before but going off the various contexts I’ve read it in, I still have no idea what the fuck a crampon is. So rather than googling it in the relative safety of my brain’s quiet chaos, I figured it would be more my style…

Humor

3 min read

What the Hell is a Crampon? Guesstimates and Speculations
What the Hell is a Crampon? Guesstimates and Speculations
Humor

3 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 27

With Great Delusions Come Great Responsibility…To Leave Others Alone

Observations and incidents — 1. I’ve been writing all morning, and rather than get up to make myself a healthy lunch, I keep eating these mini candy canes on my desk that were leftovers from Christmas. I’ve eaten so many of them that my fingers are shaking from the sugar rush I’m currently experiencing…

Humor

4 min read

With Great Delusions Come Great Responsibility…To Leave Others Alone
With Great Delusions Come Great Responsibility…To Leave Others Alone
Humor

4 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 26

If Only I Had a Zip Line in My Backyard

Material things that would definitely make me a better person — “I wish I had a zip line in my backyard,” I say to Lucy as we walk the path in one of our local parks. Once upon a time, I’d go on park crawls with my children, and now I venture out with my dog. A park crawl, if you…

Humor

4 min read

If Only I Had a Zip Line in My Backyard
If Only I Had a Zip Line in My Backyard
Humor

4 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 21

That Time I Destroyed a Perfect Stranger’s Cup of Coffee

In my defence, I felt really, really bad about it — When I was 19 years old, I packed my essential belongings (toothbrush, jean skirts, baby blue gumboots with the brass buckles, my beloved brass knuckles, a carton of cigarettes, and laptop) into an oversized duffle bag and skipped the province. I suppose I can’t really call it “skipping” the province…

Humor

5 min read

That Time I Destroyed a Perfect Stranger’s Cup of Coffee
That Time I Destroyed a Perfect Stranger’s Cup of Coffee
Humor

5 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 19

Today I Learned Fresh Pasta Smells Like Semen

Observations and incidents — I listened to The Unfocused Writer podcast as soon as I woke up today. I was still waiting for my coffee to perk while locating it on Spotify. It was simply fantastic. Chris and Kristi are an incredible podcast team; their banter is hilarious. They talk about life and writing…

Humor

4 min read

Today I Learned Fresh Pasta Smells Like Semen
Today I Learned Fresh Pasta Smells Like Semen
Humor

4 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 18

I Regret to Inform You We’ve Been Using the Same Toothbrush for Weeks Now

Observations and incidents — 1. As I was walking Lucy in the fog this morning, I saw a strange character coming toward us. It frightened me. Not because I am a small woman walking alone on a dark path but because of how this man ambled straight for us. He was running in the…

Humor

3 min read

I Regret to Inform You We’ve Been Using the Same Toothbrush for Weeks Now
I Regret to Inform You We’ve Been Using the Same Toothbrush for Weeks Now
Humor

3 min read


Published in Get Inside

·Jan 12

What Is My Neighbour Doing with All Those Dang Cars on the Street?

What have I become? — Once upon a time, I had a very rude man living next door to me. On our street, we had limited parking. Because this story takes place in the land of the working-class suburbs, each family household averaged two cars to each lot. We were no different. …

Nonfiction

6 min read

What Is My Neighbour Doing with All Those Dang Cars on the Street?
What Is My Neighbour Doing with All Those Dang Cars on the Street?
Nonfiction

6 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 12

Poop Pellets are Okay, But Please Refrain from Eating Human Shit Logs

A story about poop — Every day I go out into the world and am forced to battle with a 90-pound beast during her relentless quest to consume all varieties of fecal matter. I never remember my childhood dogs eating shit. Perhaps they did, and I was too busy building snow tunnels or running away…

Humor

4 min read

Poop Pellets are Okay, But Please Refrain from Eating Human Shit Logs
Poop Pellets are Okay, But Please Refrain from Eating Human Shit Logs
Humor

4 min read


Published in it’s just foam

·Jan 11

Words of Wisdom from a Newly Appointed 37-Year-Old

A birthday listicle from LRB — I’m sitting at my desk, drinking a black coffee (because I’m a monster), wearing a fuzzy robe and no pants. That’s my first bit of wisdom — avoid pants at all costs. …

Humor

5 min read

Words of Wisdom from a Newly Appointed 37-Year-Old
Words of Wisdom from a Newly Appointed 37-Year-Old
Humor

5 min read

Lindsay Rae Brown

Lindsay Rae Brown

3.2K Followers

Mother, writer, user of too many hashtags.

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