Why Are You Eating Grass? And Other Notes For My Dog.

Meet Lucy The Dog

Re: Why Are You Eating Grass?

I love you,

Your Human

Re: Your Butt Is Not As Small As You Think It Is.


Your Human

Re: Please Stop Eating that Deer Shit.

Warm Regards,

Your Human

Re: There Are Other Ways To Show The Kids You Love Them.

With love,

Your Human

Re: Why don’t you respond to “Drop It?”

Please respond,

Your Human

Re: Have you seen my wallet?

You can tell me the truth, is my wallet now hidden beneath the tomato plants along with that one pair of gardening gloves, my sandal, the hedge clippers, the barbecue lighter, and your red leash?

I’m just wondering if I need to cancel my credit cards or not.

A speedy response would be appreciated.


Mother, writer, user of too many hashtags.

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