How To Support the Writer in Your Life
So you’ve decided to love a wordsmith.
It is a daunting task considering your writer’s tendency towards self-loathing and bouts of inadequacy-induced rage while staring blankly at a word processing screen. Not to mention the countless beta reading sessions you must partake in even though you are not interested in space-themed erotica even in the slightest.
On the bright side, loving a writer means never having to say you’re sorry, but this isn’t what we’re looking for right now.
As someone who simply loves the writer, it’s not your job to analyze their work. This is the good news — for the writer in your life may become agitated and nonverbal after such criticisms.
Mumbling things under her breath like, “What the fuck do you know anyways?” and “When’s the last time you were published in a literary magazine?”
You, the non-writers, really are the heroes of this story.
So I’m here to help you better support the writer-monster in your life.
1. Do not show your annoyance when your writer asks you to share her article on your Facebook wall.
As your writer’s support system, she feels safe sharing her work on your social media channels. The only reason she’s asking is that she’s already posted three articles today on her socials and does not want to overwhelm her followers.
Although you mostly have the same friends on Facebook, there are a few people from your early childhood who may not have seen your writer’s work, and thus, she feels the need to expose them to her genius.
Please, go along with your writer, for it is her insatiable blind confidence in her work that keeps her going through these challenging times.
2. Understand that you will be written into many of her stories.
How could you expect any different? Being such an enormous part of your writer’s life comes with drawbacks. Mainly the fact that she will write about every detail of your lives together.
To you, this may feel invasive and a little TMI because who wants to know about that one time you got covered in urine from the writer’s younger brother who hunted you down to soak you with a water gun filled with pee? Your writer, however, finds this story endlessly funny and will tell the tale again and again on various online platforms.
You must be willing to accept this fate, or else your writer may turn to the offence, vowing never to write a single word about you again.
This, too, applies to the fiction writer in your life. However, in these narratives, the character taking after you will be thinly disguised with different coloured hair or slightly taller than your actual height.
Best case scenario: your writer is a poet, and nobody knows what the hell they’re talking about in the first place.
3. When someone ruthlessly trolls your writer’s article online, jump to her defence.
Yes, you may have to set up an account to refute the troll’s rude commentary, which is, ultimately, a total waste of time because you’ll never use that account again. However, your writer expects you to do this for her, so as our friends at Nike would once say, Just Do It.
4. Your writer might nonchalantly tell you she’s started writing for an online company that pays her for reading times. (Don’t worry; this specific online company shall remain nameless.)
Your writer will excitedly share that she gets paid per read for each article she publishes.
To you, this might just sound like a humblebrag. Because really, who the hell gets paid actual money to write silly stories online?
However, your writer is trying to convey that she needs you to sign up with the nameless company, pay for a membership and read every article she has ever written on the site because she gets money for your time and effort.
5. Do not become discouraged when you try to call your writer for a phone chat and she does not answer.
Sure, you may see that she is currently on Facebook or that she’s read and not replied to your hundreds of text messages over the past couple of weeks but rest assured your writer is not ignoring you.
She is simply schmoozing with fellow writers because, ultimately, her fellow writers willingly read her work that she gets paid for online.
This is not to say you are no longer important to your writer, but instead that you must try harder to support the incredible and intellectual work she is crafting.
6. Smile and nod at the obscure literary references your writer makes on a daily basis.
Do not, under any circumstance, ask who Augusten Burroughs is when she brings up his thought-provoking and darkly hilarious memoir Lust & Wonder because she will proceed to run you through a chapter by chapter retelling of the tale.
Understand that when she brings up references about David Foster Wallace, it is not to acquaint you with her favourite literature but instead show the general population how enlightened she is as a reader.
7. Laugh at your writer’s jokes when reading over her drafts.
8. And finally, ensure your writer is getting lots of sleep and good food to eat.
Offering snacks of Ritz crackers and marble cheese while she’s toiling away in her home office will forever keep you in your writer’s good books.
Heed these words, my friends. By following these simple draconian rules, you will help to create a balanced work/life environment for the wonderful writer in your life. Thus avoiding the absolute hell of dealing with her erratic mood swings and various other mental misfortunes that occur when she is not adequately supported.
Go forth, my little lovers of scribes, and support the writers in your life today!
Lindsay Brown is a writer who cleverly penned this article but in no way is referring to the people in her life because obviously, they are all amazing and so, so supportive.
Also, if you wanted to check out Lindsay’s Author’s Profile and read everything she’s ever written, that’d be cool.
And make sure to laugh, dammit.
Originally published at https://vocal.media.