All The Reasons Why I Don’t Want To Be a Thousandaire
Writing is hard work. So hard, in fact, that I recently concluded that I’m probably never going to make a ton of money at this endeavour. Yes, I could mope about and cry that it’s just not fair and all of the evil algorithms are working against me, but I choose to look on the bright side instead.
So today, I’m here to say that I don’t even want to be a thousandaire.
All you content marketers can stop emailing me your “How to make thousands of dollars writing” articles. I don’t want or need them.
I’m doing me, y’all.
Look at them over there, all smug behind their computer screens, wads of twenty-dollar bills wedged between their fingers to assure the finger cramps don’t inhibit them from writing their extremely profitable articles.
Being a thousandaire only brings a writer more trouble.
Like, once you become a thousandaire, you’re bound to realize that you became one for only writing one of two kinds of articles — how to write or how not to be fat anymore.
Then, because your bank account keeps telling you that you’re a thousandaire, you’re forced to keep writing these articles because that’s clearly the only way to become a thousandaire online.
Vicious circle, I tell ya.
Being a thousandaire also brings with it detrimental artistic dangers.
Haven’t you ever heard of the adage Starving Artist? There’s no way that if you hit it big and become the thousandaire you’ve always dreamed of becoming, that you can still be considered a starving artist. And what then, my friends? What the hell, then?
You’re going to just write for the sake of writing, even though you already have acquired the thousands of dollars that you set out to make with your writing?
If there’s one thing I know about writing, it is this: I’m always more on my game when I’m hungry.
And I’m hungry all the friggen time.
And can someone please stop to think about all of the time you might lose if you do become a thousandaire?
Right now, as starving artists, we sit in our decrepit little home offices, fans blowing directly into our weather-beaten faces because we can’t afford the AC we so desperately want. We spend all of our time in front of our computers because we can’t afford to do anything else.
But think if you were a thousandaire? You’d be doing all the things, like going to eat fancy sushi meals on gold-plated tables and petting exotic animals at your local petting zoo and pretending you were the damn Tiger King, and when would you ever find time to write?
Never, that’s when.
I don’t want to be a thousandaire because I know for a fact that it would change me.
To be honest, I had a small stint back in 2020 when I actually was a thousandaire, and it did change me.
I kept telling my loved ones how awesome I was because I finally made thousands of dollars with my writing.
Oh, of course no one cared because, as a rule, most people make thousands of dollars with their jobs, but it’s different when it’s your art you’re making money from.
I bought myself a fancy new laptop which I never use because the keys feel weird when I’m typing. Yeah, you read that right. These are the foolish things that thousandaires worry about — how their fingers feel upon their shiny new keyboards. Give me a break!
My biggest reason for not wanting to be a thousandaire even in the slightest is because if I were a thousandaire already, what would I look forward to in my wildest dreams?
For it is the thought of becoming a thousandaire that drives me forward in this cutthroat business of rejection emails and hard-no rebuffs. The idea that one day I might never have to know the indignity of living off my overdraft funds for the remaining week and six days until payday.
That glimmering hope that I might call myself a thousandaire and that prestigious title will have come from the lonely days sitting at my keyboard and daydreaming of a time when my work would actually make me money.
So please, fellow writers, say it with me, “I say no, to thousandaire status!”
Our voices, solid and steady, will ring up to the heavens and everyone shall know our victory as the starving (yet genius) artists our lack of monetary compensation gives us!
Lindsay Brown is a mother, writer and wife. So as you can see, she is many things. However, a thousandaire is not one of them. If you want to bring Lindsay closer to that dreaded thousandaire status, please feel free to check out some of her work HERE!
Originally published at https://vocal.media.