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Lindsay Rae Brown
Lindsay Rae Brown

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Published in About Me Stories

·Pinned

About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown

Writing through the stress…usually in a unicorn onesie. — If you need to know one thing about me, it is this: I love my name. My name is boss. To be clear, my name isn’t actually “boss,” which would be weird. But it is boss as in the slang (that dates back to the 1880s!), meaning super hip and…

About Me

4 min read

About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown
About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown

Published in it’s just foam

·20 hours ago

Skankola! Love Notes Sent from The Universe on a Dirty Old Park Bench

Memories of growing up in a tourist town — Is there anything better than sitting down on a nest of ass-wipe propped atop a public toilet seat and tucking into all the fantastic words written on a bathroom stall? No. There isn’t anything better. And if you’re about to argue with me, just shut up already. You’re lying to…

Humor

4 min read

Skankola! Love Notes Sent from The Universe on a Dirty Old Park Bench
Skankola! Love Notes Sent from The Universe on a Dirty Old Park Bench

Published in it’s just foam

·4 days ago

A Few Reasons Why I’m Worried About My Brilliantly White Bathroom

Seriously, it’s shockingly white, you guys — Something regrettable happened to me last week while I was peeing in my kids’ bathroom downstairs. Look, I realize that saying there was a “growth” on the bathroom wall is weird. But that’s precisely what it was. …

Humor

4 min read

A Few Reasons Why I’m Worried About My Brilliantly White Bathroom
A Few Reasons Why I’m Worried About My Brilliantly White Bathroom

Published in it’s just foam

·Aug 1

Follower Counts Were Invented to Simply Stroke Your Veiny and Engorged Ego

Weird title, but I have a point I swear — Yesterday my follower count on Medium went from 3.3K to 3K in less than an hour. I haven’t even been writing on Medium much lately, so it seemed strange that 300 people decided to say “fuck that chick” in less than an hour. Then I remembered that sometimes Medium does…

Writing

3 min read

Follower Counts Were Invented to Simply Stroke Your Veiny and Engorged Ego
Follower Counts Were Invented to Simply Stroke Your Veiny and Engorged Ego

Published in it’s just foam

·Jul 22

That Time I Realized My Boob Was Out for the Third Time and I’m Basically a Scourge on Society

Shame spiralling all over this damn place — I understand in the deepest recesses of my soul that writing three (count ’em three) articles about inadvertently nip-slipping in public places may seem like overkill. And as much as I am never bored with the antics of my meat mountains (who am I kidding? They’re muffin mounds at best)…

Humor

4 min read

That Time I Realized My Boob Was Out for the Third Time and I’m Basically a Scourge on Society
That Time I Realized My Boob Was Out for the Third Time and I’m Basically a Scourge on Society

Jul 9

Yowza! Who Would Have Thought That a Brain Terrarium Could Hold All This Anxiety

Because uselessly worrying leaves me weary with a bad case of gut-rot — I’ve recently learned a nifty method of temporarily relieving myself of the all-encompassing anxiety that usually riddles my waking life. …

Mental Health

8 min read

Yowza! Who Would Have Thought That a Brain Terrarium Could Hold All This Anxiety
Yowza! Who Would Have Thought That a Brain Terrarium Could Hold All This Anxiety

Published in Fanfare

·Jun 30

Direct Quotes from My Daughter While Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show for The First Time

Showing my daughter my favourite movie helped me understand its message better — WARNING: Spoilers ahead — if you have yet to experience The Rocky Horror Picture show stop everything you’re doing and go watch it now. I’ll wait. *Shivers with antici…pation!* There is no greater joy in the world than seeing Tim Curry fabulously clad in fishnets, stilettos and that iconic sparkling…

Humor

6 min read

Direct Quotes from My Daughter While Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show for The First Time
Direct Quotes from My Daughter While Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show for The First Time

Published in Artisanal Article Machine

·Jun 25

Dog Eats Decapitated Bird

My life is quickly becoming the punchline of a very bad joke — There’s been a lot of dead animals on the streets lately. Is it the end times? Perhaps. …

Humor

4 min read

Dog Eats Decapitated Bird
Dog Eats Decapitated Bird

Published in it’s just foam

·Jun 23

7 Random Things I Routinely Find Myself Yelling into the Void

Cool cool cool — I don’t often talk to myself. That would be crazy. If I do find myself speaking aloud while I’m the only person in my general vicinity, it’s usually because I’m having an entire conversation with my brain. To be clear, there is a big difference between talking to oneself and…

Humor

5 min read

7 Random Things I Routinely Find Myself Yelling into the Void
7 Random Things I Routinely Find Myself Yelling into the Void

Published in it’s just foam

·Jun 20

Hi, I’m the Bored Kid Sitting in Front of You at Your Child’s Summer Band Recital

And I’m here to ruin some memories — Look, no one said it would be easy to be this annoying, but the French horns are doing a solo right now that sounds like an enormous fart, and I’m going to make the most of it. Let me tell you a little story, lady. Once upon a time, my…

Fiction

4 min read

Hi, I’m the Bored Kid Sitting in Front of You at Your Child’s Summer Band Recital
Hi, I’m the Bored Kid Sitting in Front of You at Your Child’s Summer Band Recital
Lindsay Rae Brown

Lindsay Rae Brown

Mother, writer, user of too many hashtags.

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